Appetizers

American ✦ Inspired by: Babylon 5

Minbari Flarn

A Babylon 5-inspired fictional dish translated into something Earth kitchens can actually make: tofu, peas, onion, garlic, chili, garam masala, egg, breadcrumbs and almonds baked into small savoury cubes. Sacred Minbari chanting remains optional. Watching a few episodes while cooking is considerably easier.

What It Is

This real-world interpretation of Minbari flarn turns tofu, peas, aromatics and warm spices into a baked savoury loaf that is cooled and cut into small cubes. The cookbook maps fictional ingredients such as protein blocks, rylla pods, Jenn bulbs and wysa nuts to tofu, peas, garlic and almonds.

Origin

Flarn is a fictional Minbari food from Babylon 5. The Dinner by the Minute version places its in-universe origin on Minbar and converts the fictional dish into an Earth-cookable recipe using tofu, peas, eggs, breadcrumbs, almonds and garam masala.

Fun Fact

Tofu is made by coagulating soy milk and pressing the resulting curds, a process conceptually similar to cheesemaking even though the ingredients are completely different.

Prep

25 min

Cook

20 min

Temp

350°F (180°C)

Total

45 min

Servings

6 several 1-inch flarn cubes

(assuming no one present is secretly a moose)

Difficulty

moderate

Diet

Vegetarian, Dairy-Free, High-Protein

Away Mission

80 min walk

(Scotty says she cannae take much more of this, Captain)

#babylon-5 #fictional-food #flarn #minbari #sci-fi-food #tofu #vegetarian

Ingredients

2 tbsp sunflower oil
2½ oz diced onion
2 tbsp minced garlic
1½ red chilies, chopped
2 tsp garam masala
14 oz tofu, cubed
15 oz peas
2 eggs
3 oz plain breadcrumbs
2 oz blanched almonds
½ tsp salt and pepper

Steps

Preheat the oven to 350°F (180°C).
Heat the sunflower oil in a large saucepan. Add the onion, garlic and chilies and sauté for 2 minutes.
Stir in the garam masala, salt and pepper and cook for 1 minute.
Add the tofu and carefully turn the cubes to cook on all sides. Add the peas, cover and cook for about 4 minutes, until tender. Remove from the heat and cool slightly.
Transfer the mixture to a food processor. Add the eggs and pulse several times, scraping down the sides as needed.
Transfer to a bowl and mix in the breadcrumbs and almonds.
Grease an 8x8-inch ovenproof dish, line with parchment and grease the parchment. Spread the mixture evenly in the dish.
Bake for about 20 minutes, until firm. Cool, cut into 1-inch cubes and serve.

Notes

The fictional ingredient translations printed in the cookbook are preserved here: temple oil = sunflower oil, Jenn bulbs = garlic, zassa = red chilies, protein blocks = tofu, rylla pods = peas, lemshwee/temshwee eggs = eggs, and wysa nuts = almonds.

Nutrition Facts

Per Several 1-inch flarn cubes

Calories 360

Burning this off: one Tragically Hip song, played loud, on a treadmill.

% Daily Value*

Fat 18.0 g 24%

Saturated + Trans 2.5 g 13%

Cholesterol 60 mg

Sodium 340 mg 15%

Carbohydrate 30.0 g

Fibre 7.0 g 25%

Sugars 8.0 g 8%

Protein 21.0 g

Potassium 450 mg 10%

Calcium 330 mg 25%

Iron 4.8 mg 27%

*5% or less is a little, 15% or more is a lot. Sodium levels calculated in a country with universal healthcare — and it's free, so don't worry about it too much.

A genuinely respectable nutrition profile. No red flags here — go ahead and feel a little smug about it.

Substitutions

Use gluten-free breadcrumbs for a gluten-free version. Cashews can replace almonds if appropriate for your diet. For an egg-free version, a suitable plant-based binder can be tested, though texture may change. Increase chili if the religious caste has had a particularly long council meeting.

Storage

Refrigerate cooled flarn cubes in a sealed container for up to 3 days. Reheat gently or serve at room temperature if appropriate.

Freezing

Freeze cooled cubes in a single layer, then transfer to a freezer container. Freeze up to 2 months. Thaw in the refrigerator and reheat in the oven for the best texture.